58 Funny Tow Mater Quotes From Cars
Mater is one of the funniest Disney sidekicks, and Cars is full of great Tow Mater quotes!
Lightning McQueen first meets Tow Mater in Radiator Springs, and the two quickly form a friendship.
The pair features across three Disney Car movies and multiple TV shows, and Mater often steals the show!
Here are the best Tow Mater quotes and quips!
Tow Mater Quotes from Cars
Mater plays a prominent part in the first Disney Cars movie! Here are some of his best quotes!
Lightning McQueen: No but I wish that I could’ve. They say he was amazing. He won three Piston Cups!
Mater: [spits out fuel] He did what in his cup?
Mater: I knew it! I knowed I made a good choice!
Lightning McQueen: In what?
Mater: My best friend.
Mater: Hey look! There’s Miss Sally!
Lightning McQueen: What, where?
Mater: [laughs] You’re in love with Miss Sally!
Lightning McQueen: No I’m not.
Mater: Yes you do!
Lightning McQueen: No way.
Mater: Way.
Lightning McQueen: Will you stop that?
Mater: Stop what?
Lightning McQueen: That driving backwards stuff. It’s creeping me out. You’re gonna wreck or something.
Mater: Wreck? Shoot! I’m the world’s best backwards driver! Just watch this right here, lover boy.
Mater: There ain’t no need to watch where I’m going! Just need to know where I been.
Lightning McQueen: I thought you said you’d never come back.
Doc Hudson: Well, I really didn’t have a choice. Mater didn’t get to say goodbye.
Mater: GOODBYE! Okay, I’m good.
Lightning McQueen: Woah, that was incredible! How’d you do that?
Mater: Rear view mirrors [wiggles them back and forth]. We’ll get you some and I’ll teach you if you want.
Sheriff: Mater! What did I tell you about talking to the accused?
Mater: To not to.
Lightning McQueen: Oh, I am so not taking you to dinner.
Sally: That’s OK, Stickers. You can take Bessie.
Mater: Oh, man, you get to work with Bessie, I’d give my left two lugnuts for somethin’ like that!
Lightning McQueen: I shouldn’t have to put up with this. I’m a precision instrument of speed and aerodynamics.
Mater: You hurt your what?
Mater: Morning sleeping beauty! [laughs]. Boy, I was wondering when youse gonna wake up!
Mater: You’re funny. I like you already. My name’s Mater.
Lightning McQueen: Mater?
Mater: Yeah, like tuh-mater, but without the tuh. What’s your name?
Lightning McQueen: You don’t know my name?
Mater: No. No, I know your name. Is your name Mater too?
Mater: I’m happier than a tornado in a trailer park!
Mater: Look at this! It’s my hood! It’s my hood! I ain’t seen this thing in twenty years! [Puts it on] Well, it fits perfectly. How do I look? [Sneezes and the hood falls off back down the cliff] Aw, dang.
Mater: Woah! Git-R-Done!
Mater: Where are ya? Shoot! You’re in Radiator Springs, the cutest little town in Carburetor County.
Mater: Oh, he’s just a little bit shy, and he hates you for killin’ his flowers.
Mater: [After tipping another tractor] I don’t care who you are, that’s funny right there.
Sheriff: When the defendant has no lawyer, the court will assign one to him. Hey, anyone wants to be his lawyer?
Mater: Shoot, I’ll do it, Sheriff!
Fun Tow Mater Fact: Mater was named after Douglas “Mater” Keever, a NASCAR fan John Lasseter met at the Lowe’s Speedway during a research trip. In fact, Keever introduced himself as Mater, “like tuh-mater, but without the tuh”, the same way Car’s Mater introduces himself to Lightning McQueen!
Funny Mater Quotes
Almost everything Mater says is funny! But here are some of the funniest Tow Mater Quotes from Cars.
Mater: You know, I once knew this girl Doreen. Good-looking girl. Looked just like a Jaguar, only she was a truck! Y’know, I used to crash into her just so I could spoke to her.
Lightning McQueen: What… are you talking about?
Mater: I dunno.
Mater: Boy, I’m pretty good at this lawyerin’ stuff!
Mater: When I say go, we go. But don’t let Frank catch yeh. Go!
Mater: Now here’s what you do. You just sneak up in front of ’em and then honk and they do the rest. Watch this. [Sneaks up to tractor and honks, causing it to tip over]. I swear tractors is so dumb. I’ll tell you what buddy, it doesn’t get much better than this.
Mater: We’ll talk later, Mater [chuckles] Later Mater, that’s funny!
Flo: Whoo! Watchin’ him is makin’ me thirsty. Anybody else want somethin’ to drink?
Mater: Nah, not me, Flo. I’m on one of them there special diets. I am a precisional instrument of speed and aeromatics.
Lightning McQueen: What! This place is crazy!
Mater: Hey, and I know this may be a bad time right now, but uh, you owe me $32,000 in legal fees.
Mater: Howdy, Sally!
Sally: Hi, folks!
Lightning McQueen: You know her?
Mater: She’s the town attorney – and my fiancée.
Lightning McQueen: What?
Mater: Nah I’m just kiddin’. She jus’ likes me for my body.
Mater: Hey, listen, listen! If anybody asks you, we was out smashin’ mailboxes, OK?
Mater: McQueen and Sally, parked beneath the tree, K-I-S-S- uh… I-N-T!
Mater: It’s the Ghostlight!
Mater: Holy shoot!
Mater: Boy, I tell you what. I bet the roads on the moon ain’t this smooth.
Tow Mater Quotes from Cars 2
Mater returns for Cars 2 with his funny quips and observations!
You might also like our Lightning McQueen quotes!
Finn: I never properly introduced myself. Finn McMissile, British Intelligence.
Mater: Tow Mater, average intelligence.
Mater: I call it, ‘what I accidentally did to my friend Luigi once’ [does karate move].
Mater: You know, I know some karate. I don’t want to brag or nuthin’ but I got me a black fan belt.
Fun Fact: You can find Mater in the Radiator Springs section at Art of Animation!
Mater: What have you got here that’s free? How about that pistachio ice cream?
Sushi Chef: No, no. Wasabi.
Mater: Oh, same old, same old. What’s up with you? That looks delicious! Uh, a little more, please? It is free, right? Keep it coming. A little more. Come on, let’s go, it’s free! You’re gettin’ there, scoop, scoop! There ya go! Now, that’s a scoop of ice cream!
Sushi Chef: My condolences.
Mater: Whatever you do, do not eat the free pistachio ice cream! It has turned.
Mater: [chuckles] Cool! Hey, computer, make me a German truck.
Computer: Request acknowledged.
Mater: Check it out! I’m wearing Materhosen. Make me a monster truck!
Computer: Request acknowledged. [turns Mater into a vampire]
Mater: What the…? [chuckles] I vant to siphon your gas!
Finn: Paris! Tout de suite.
Mater: Yeah, two of them sweets for me, too, Sid!
Finn: That’s right. And you obviously have plenty of experience in the field, Mater.
Mater: Well, yeah, I live right next to one.
Lightning McQueen: Listen, this isn’t Radiator Springs.
Mater: You’re just realizing that? Oh-ho! That jet lag really done a number on you.
Finn: Mater, are these cars considered lemons?
Mater: Is the Popemobile Catholic?
Mater: [While driving in the UK] What’s everybody on the wrong side of the road for?
Mater: Fellers, listen. I know what you’re going through. Everybody’s been laughing at me my whole life too. But becoming powerful and rich beyond your wildest dreams ain’t gonna make you feel better.
Mater: And then I remembered what they say about old British engines: if there ain’t no oil under ’em, there ain’t no oil in ’em.
Mater: Sir? Shoot, you can just call me Mater, Your Majesty. I don’t wanna hear none of this “sir” business. By the way, have y’all met each other? Queen, McQueen. McQueen, Queen. McQueen, McMissile. McMissile, McQueen. Queen, McMissile.
Mater: Boy, I’ve got to go to a doctor. I keep gettin’ these sharp pains in my undercarriage.
Mater: Oh! Whatever you do, I would not go in there! Hey! A Gremlin and a Pacer! No offence to your makes and models, but you guys break down harder than my cousin Betsy after she got left at the altar.
Tow Mater Quotes from Cars 3
Tow Mater isn’t in Cars 3 much, but when he is, he’s still full of funny one liners!
Mater: [singing] First you find a can, from a rusty van. Bump, bump. Quicker than a dart. make it into art. Bump, bump. That’s the way it’s done,
it’s a lotta fun. Bump, bump. Liftin’ my funk, makin’ sculptures outta junk.
Fun Fact: The song above is a play on the Humphrey Hop, a song from the 1956 Humphrey the Bear cartoon, In the Bag.
Mater: Oh! You know what I’d do?
Lightning McQueen: What?
Mater: I don’t know. I got nothing. I guess I ain’t Doc when it comes to that.
Mater: I mean, everybody was taught by somebody, right? Take my cousin Doyle. He taught me how to sing and whistle at the same time. He was very musical that way.
Lightning McQueen: Mater, you’re brilliant!
Mater: Ah, well [laughs]. It’s all about the shape of your teeth.
Mater: [singing] My cup holder’s happy, my tank is full. My engine’s running like a Brahma bull. My bumpers are polished and talk about luck. I just got a date with an ice cream truck.
Tow Mater Quotes From Cars on the Road
Lightning McQueen and Mater take a road trip in this show by Disney Junior!
Movie Assistant: Are you funny?
Mater: Do you mean funny har har or funny weird?
Mater: Lightning, you’re good at everything. You gotta leave a few leftovers for the rest of us.
Lightning McQueen: Okay, so how come you never mentioned this sister of yours?
Mater: Well, I don’t think about her that much. Until she turns up, like any other natural disaster,
Mater: That’s cold. They didn’t even try to save me.
Mater: I ain’t the quickest, but it sure would be fun to be fast.
Get to Know Tow Mater
Sir Tow Mater KG.
Mater’s catchphrases include “Dad gum!”, “If I’m lyin’, I’m cryin’!”, “Shoot!” and “Git-R-Done!” (which is also Larry the Cable Guy’s catchphrase!).
Mater’s girlfriend is Holley Shiftwell aka Agent Shiftwell, a sleek purple car who is also a spy!
Mater’s sister, Tow Mato, is introduced in Cars on the Road. She’s Mater’s wealthy older sister, who is marrying Mateo, Cruz Ramirez’s cousin.
Mater was baby blue but has mostly rusted over the years, giving him his brown appearance.
Mater values his dents because they are part of him and the memories he made with his best friend, Lightning McQueen!
Mater: Well, then, no, thank you. I don’t get them dents buffed, pulled, filled or painted by nobody. They way too valuable.
Holley Shiftwell: Your dents are valuable? Really?
Twilight Sparkle: That’s right, Holley.
Mater: I come by each one of ’em with my best friend, Lightning McQueen. I don’t fix these. I wanna remember these dents forever.
While we don’t know exactly how Mater lost his hood, it ended up at the bottom of the canyon in the mid-80s!
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Lindsey is the creator and writer for Mouse Trip Magic. When she’s not walking down Main Street, she likes to bring the Disney magic home with Disney movies, fun recipes and cute Disney finds. Her love of storytelling and cinematography led her to pursue a degree in film and media, which means she loves to research and take a deep dive into all things Disney!
